Parents often complain that kids don’t play outside anymore, then make it incredibly difficult for children to play outside. Don’t go out by yourself, you’ll be kidnapped! Don’t go for a bike ride, it’s too dangerous! In fact, why don’t you just sit in the backyard covered in pillows? See? Isn’t nature great?

Some have tried to correct this by doing crazy things like “create places for kids to play.” These efforts don’t always go over well, and sometimes, the response is out of this world.

Recently, a council member proposed building just two swing sets and a slide in a Los Angeles park. If you ask me, that sounds reasonable, but if you ask residents, these swing sets will be hubs of the drug trade, and the slide nothing more than a luge to send your kids into the mouth of a coyote.

Instead, they’d rather just see the park empty — because you surely can’t do drugs in an empty park!